Are They going to add the Word Syndrome after Your Name?

Excess stress, burnout, overworking, suffering for others at work is NOT heroic, it is self-destructive.431932_10204819889327926_2113176835625440694_n

Martyring yourself can be tied in to that feeling that you never do enough, give enough, try enough or are enough so you must do more.

You may be trying to save your corner of the world, take responsibility for others failings, feel no one can do ‘it’ as well as you.  Your self-worth is tied to your accomplishments, few people know who you really are or what you really want.

Few, if any, ever know when you are truly hurt or profoundly upset.  Do not re-create your own personal tragedy every day.  Do not see this self-martyring as a badge of honor but as abusive and damaging.  You do not want a syndrome named after you.  Once you let go of this drive to over-do, you will accomplish much more meaningful things in your life.

Spend some time writing in your TN about whether you are wearing your stress, etc. as a badge of honor, or your self esteem is tied in to over-doing it to give meaning to your life.  Contemplate what the drive is behind over-doing it and if, everything that you are doing is truly feeding your heart and soul.  Start keeping things on your to-do list that are purpose, heart driven and give you soul satisfaction instead.

I love this blog………….

I just want to plug Positive Outlook Blog.  I love this blog.  I get the posts on my FB feed every day and there is always something that speaks straight to my heart.  Today’s post was:  You are Good Enough.  It is so easy with media inundating us with the ideal of perfection in body, mind, job, and family for us to feel as if we never measure up.  We are all amazing, magnificent creatures and our very existence on this earth is a miracle….check out the blog, it’s very inspiring.

I’m Fine……………….really.

The average person tells 4 lies a day, that’s 1,460 per year, for a total of 87,600 by the age of 60.  We all, at one time or another have told this little lie.  There are multitude of reasons you say you are fine when you aren’t.  There may be rules of confidentiality that restrict conversation, there may be reasons you don’t let your guard down to certain people, there may be time constraints or you don’t want that level of intimacy with the person asking how you are…maybe your barista asked and at the risk of getting horrible latte’s thi'm finee rest of your life you say you are doing well when you aren’t.

However, there is a monumental problem with saying you are ‘fine’ when you are not.  What is that you ask?  Simply this: when you say, out loud, that you are fine and you are not, you are really trying to convince yourself you are.  It is well known that some women and men who experience child sexual abuse never tell, never speak the words of the abuse out loud.  The reason for this is that if they never say the words out loud they can pretend it never happened… saying “I’m fine” is really the opposite dynamic going on.

The bottom line is, we all have moments, days even, where we are not fine by any definition.  Struggling, sadness, loss, helplessness, aggravation are all part of the human condition.  You have permission to not be ok, to not be fine.   So next time someone asks you how you are, and you don’t feel so fine, find other words to respond with, words that will not betray your heart and soul, words that will be true to your feelings.  The more you are genuine and honest about how you really feel, the more you will experience joy and peace.

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